November 8, 2016
Dear Mr. Jefferson,
Lying at my fireside with my dear Abigail, as I watch returns from the current election, I opened a bundle of electronic letters from the Yahoo and Google post offices. The first letter that struck my eye was from my cousin, Samuel, and with it the discovery of a fact that was very pleasing to me: you are again running for President, this time of the esteemed body of students at your University of Virginia.
I wish you a satisfying and enduring victory over Chad. I understand him to be a proficient midfielder of lacrosse ball and thus a popular and worthy opponent. You may be wise to direct voters to his promiscuity at Halloweekend and deficiency in organic chemistry.
Of this other, less articulate campaign, I say only this: the union is still to me an object of as much anxiety as ever independence was. But as an orange cloud has descended upon our republic, I pray it may stimulate a ferment that will be a great use to our country.
If I was able to endure the odor of a rotting carcass on my farm, the result was always more fertile soil, a more prosperous crop. Henceforth, what ideas may take root in our land after this passing stench? What seeds may we plant in the minds of our dear countrymen? In those minds you must as well have found that there is sufficient fallow ground.
My better half charges me to present you her ancient respect and regards with those of your old Friend,
